Fear Not, You Worm!

When I wake up in the morning I often feel guilty, guilty because of yesterday's ugliness. Ugliness leads to sorrow hopelessness; hopeless in expectation of tomorrow’s failure. This sad fact has recently led me to a realization: I don’t like who I am. I am selfish, extremely sarcastic, frivolous in attitude, envious, antisocial, harsh, cynical, stubborn, dubious, judgmental, weak-willed, timid, a self-martyr, peevish, and often times quite megalomaniac(ish). Shortcomings or character flaws riddle my everyday. My current state of self-realization has led me to one conclusion: Oh, what a worm am I! I have failed more than I have succeeded. I have crawled more than I have walked. I have gasped more than I have breathed. More than ever, I find myself needing to rest in the sovereignty of the wisdom of God, come what may. Then I read the following Psalm:

Psalm 73:21-26
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

The only strength that really matters in life is the strength of heart that comes from feeding on grace and trusting in grace. All the way through life, it is not money, physical strength or a perfect character that God delights in. The Lord takes pleasure in those who hope in his grace (Psalm 147:11).

This analogy from John Piper is beautifully assuring:

The lesson of Jesus' life and the lesson of the Psalms is this: every cave that you're in—wandering along, feeling the rocks, stumbling, stepping, bumping your head—every cave that you are in is a tunnel that opens into glory. It opens into a day like today in Heaven, with the sun shining, and the grass green, and the waters flowing—as long as you don’t sit down in the cave and blow out the candle of faith.

One of the recurring messages in Psalms is quite clear: Christians shouldn’t be an anxious people; a people who are worried or fretful about things that threaten life and happiness: economic adversity, satanic opposition, guilt-laden consciences, deteriorating health, and character flaws. All these fears are real and mine. The mark of God's people, however, is not incapacitating fear, but rather a contrite courageous confidence in God. As the Psalmist states above, “my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” What a beautiful portrayal of casting ones burdens on the Son of God. My heart will be strong, and I will be able to carry on another day. Such is the glory of grace in the Christian life. My failures, hopelessness, discouragement, and flaws all fall away before the throne “for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace.” (Hebrews 13.9)