Fear Not, You Worm!

When I wake up in the morning I often feel guilty, guilty because of yesterday's ugliness. Ugliness leads to sorrow hopelessness; hopeless in expectation of tomorrow’s failure. This sad fact has recently led me to a realization: I don’t like who I am. I am selfish, extremely sarcastic, frivolous in attitude, envious, antisocial, harsh, cynical, stubborn, dubious, judgmental, weak-willed, timid, a self-martyr, peevish, and often times quite megalomaniac(ish). Shortcomings or character flaws riddle my everyday. My current state of self-realization has led me to one conclusion: Oh, what a worm am I! I have failed more than I have succeeded. I have crawled more than I have walked. I have gasped more than I have breathed. More than ever, I find myself needing to rest in the sovereignty of the wisdom of God, come what may. Then I read the following Psalm:

Psalm 73:21-26
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

The only strength that really matters in life is the strength of heart that comes from feeding on grace and trusting in grace. All the way through life, it is not money, physical strength or a perfect character that God delights in. The Lord takes pleasure in those who hope in his grace (Psalm 147:11).

This analogy from John Piper is beautifully assuring:

The lesson of Jesus' life and the lesson of the Psalms is this: every cave that you're in—wandering along, feeling the rocks, stumbling, stepping, bumping your head—every cave that you are in is a tunnel that opens into glory. It opens into a day like today in Heaven, with the sun shining, and the grass green, and the waters flowing—as long as you don’t sit down in the cave and blow out the candle of faith.

One of the recurring messages in Psalms is quite clear: Christians shouldn’t be an anxious people; a people who are worried or fretful about things that threaten life and happiness: economic adversity, satanic opposition, guilt-laden consciences, deteriorating health, and character flaws. All these fears are real and mine. The mark of God's people, however, is not incapacitating fear, but rather a contrite courageous confidence in God. As the Psalmist states above, “my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” What a beautiful portrayal of casting ones burdens on the Son of God. My heart will be strong, and I will be able to carry on another day. Such is the glory of grace in the Christian life. My failures, hopelessness, discouragement, and flaws all fall away before the throne “for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace.” (Hebrews 13.9)

The Holy Spirit: Forgotten God?

"From my perspective, the Holy Spirit is tragically neglected and, for all practical purposes, forgotten...There is a gap between what we read in Scripture about the Holy Spirit and how most believers and churches operate today. In many modern churches, you would be stunned by the apparent absence of the Spirit in any manifest way. And this, I believe, is the crux of the problem." This passage is taken from my most recent read, Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit [see author’s video at: http://forgottengod.com/]. It is within this book that author/pastor Francis Chan proposes his reader to sit down, reflect and simply consider our lives in relation to the Holy Spirit.

Is your relationship with the Holy Spirit all that it ought to be? Chan asks, "Has anyone ever been amazed by your peace? Love? Joy? Have they ever envied your self-control? Have you ever prayed that God would so fill you with the Spirit that people would know that the change could only be empowered by the Spirit" For those who have not thought about the Spirit for a long time, this book may serve as a good wake-up call. It is far from an exhaustive treatment, but that is not its purpose. Rather, Chan sets out to get his reader to think critically about his spiritual life: "that by keeping in step with the Spirit, we might regularly fellowship over what He's doing rather than what He did months or years ago." It is about living a life dependent on and surrendered to the Spirit, about seeking how we can live faithfully here and now. And this he accomplishes well.

"I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit." Isn't this what every Christian desires to live? A life that can only be explained by the power of God? After all, is not the fullness of what it means to be a follower of Christ lost without the presence of the Holy Spirit?

A day after I finished this book, I watched a compelling movie called Goodbye Solo. This unique and powerful film is about how two average men deal with the most complex elements in the human equation. The movie begins as it ends: unsettling. Solo is a gregarious and larger than life taxi driver who befriends a crusty, foul-tempered old man with the meter running. Without hesitation, Solo is instinctively disturbed by this mans plans of suicide (which is only implied throughout the film). Solo barely knows William, but something about this unspoken plan causes Solo to act impulsively. What attracted me to Solo was something that most American Christians lack: a Calvary-type love. Solo tried every technique he knew to save Williams life, though at times, with reckless abandonment.

Why aren’t all Christians like this? Why aren’t I like this? A man so friendless, alone, and bitter at life was something that Solo could not gulp. How much more should I be involved in the life of my neighbor? Are we called as Christians to evangelize and interfere in others lives, even if in reckless abandonment? I rarely have the answers, but what I do have is the Gospel. Solo had a cultural sense of the way the world should work. We as Christians, however, have an obligation. We have the Gospel! This movie is void of a God and ends true to that form. I am not.

What does is say when Calvary-like love is something that the secular world often displays more sincerely….and frequently?

"The light of the American church,” Chan states, “is flickering and nearly extinguished, having largely sold out to the kingdoms and values of this world." Give me someone who says America is a Christian nation and I will give you the most greedy, selfish, and idolatrous people in the world (this would be an instance where I point a finger only to have three pointing back at me).

I have come to sympathize with much of Chan's claims and beliefs regarding American Christianity –its ease, wealth, and comfort. Chan's dominant theme is not only consistent, but also stimulating: the Holy Spirit is not about leading us straight to self-glorification and self-centeredness; rather, the Holy Spirit leads us to the cross and to sanctification so that Jesus is the one glorified. In this affirmation, Chan teaches a theology of the cross that is at odds with the current trends of Western Christianity.

So this is not a book on doctrine or strategies. It is a desperate cry for us reflect, see how lost we are living in our own strength while giving lip service to God, and repent and turn to Him. At worst, this book will help you to reaffirm what believe and how you live. At best, it will challenge you as it challenged me. Do you want to live a radical faith beyond anything you can dream up with your mortal imagination? Chan sees the Holy Spirit not as the key to "your best life now," but to a lifestyle that promises to be "radical and terrifying," one that brings not comfort to ourselves, but glory to God. If you seek more doctrine, see Calvin.

This book has its flaws. The book is similar to a college paper of mine: no clear-cut direction. The seven chapters of the book are only loosely connected by their perspectives on the Holy Spirit. Frustratingly, he fails to discuss charismatic gifts; seemingly out of fear of addressing anything controversial. The depth and breadth of the authors work is not phenomenal, but his heart for the church and love for God is quite obvious.

Chan argues compellingly that the fullness of what it means to be a Christian is lost without the presence of the Holy Spirit. "Pray that God would empower us so radically that we would get no glory. That people would see our works and glorify God." Amen.

If I were to start a small group, would anyone be interested? I think this movie and book would be a great starting point.